You're cordially invited to help me celebrate my 34th year on this planet in the delightful and intimate surroundings of Bare Arts, the nation's only licenced nude art gallery.

I'll be dusting off some of the most esoteric, eclectic, extraordinary and exciting tunes from my extensive music collection and dropping science on the ones and twos (or an iPod, a laptop and a slightly ropey soundsystem). It's another first for Bare Arts, hosting an exclusive and long-trailed DJ set from yours truly: my first public set in the Calder valley in a decade, and an excuse to play a fine selection of non-banging tunes in a great venue.

Marvel at the splendid ales, beers and ciders hand-crafted by brewmeister Trevor Cook Esq!

Gaze in wonderment at sensuous and sweeping artworks from the fair hand of the talented Kathryn Mernagh Cook!

Make merryment to a soundtrack of soul, lounge, latin, funk, ska, reggae, pop, folk, soundtracks, downtempo tunes and assorted little-acknowledged classics provided by Joby Catto and friends

Relax in the bucolic rural idyll of Todmorden in the Calder valley, only a short and convenient train ride from all the metropolitan centres of Lancashire and the West Riding.

Enjoy the spectacle of fully-grown men and women transformed by consummate wit, sparkling conversation, ale consumption and slightly less sparkling cider!

Beer is served from midday, and music will be on tap from 3pm: there's no admission charge and the train station is a five minute stagger away.

So underline the date in your diaries, line your stomachs beforehand, and make a bee-line for the b-lines at Bare Arts and an utterly civilised and celebratory Sunday afternoon!

Look forward to seeing you there x